Kyou Kara Maou Dialogue
by Blueraingurl
Summary: “Yeah, Wolfram was trying to kill me” . . . “That’s highly improbable and not after the sounds I heard last night.”
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou. KKM is property of its respective American and Japanese owners and distributors. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**A/N**: I will be writing 500 words or less dialogue drabbles for the livejournal community - http / community. livejournal. com/ dialogue 500/ (spaces intentional).

Each chapter will be stand alone one-shots with a theme to each chapter. Also the livejournal community is not specifically for kkm but I will be writing only kkm for the dialogue entries so I thought I mind as well post this here.

If you want to practice writing dialogue's you can also join the community :P

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_Title:_ Kyou Kara Maou Dialogue 500  
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**Prompt: #01 - In an Elevator**  
Pairing: Yuuri/Wolfram

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"You wimp! Look at what you got us into!"

"Why do you always blame me?"

"Who else should I blame: me?"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't burned out the elevator fuse with your fire element . . ."

". . ."

"See, you can't even say anything."

"My silence means nothing; I'm just mulling your stupidity in my head."

"Gah, Wolfram you're so annoying and this is your fault, you can't deny it!"

"I fail to see your point."

"Really? So when the elevator happened to close on us, you really had to pound on the doors like that?"

". . ."

"Then you thought we were under attack so you had to summon your fire elements to short-circuit the buttons . . . "

"Well, it's still not my fault! You never told me what those buttons were for . . . stupid Earth and their weird contraptions."

"Will you stop muttering? It's your fault anyways. Plus, I'm getting a headache now."

"I can do whatever I please you stupid wimp."

"Gah, then go do it over at that corner and let me have some peace over here while I try to figure out how to get us out of this mess."

"Hmph that would only work if you had a brain."

"You're such a brat and stop twitching it's annoying me."

"Sure, you can't even see me in this dark . . . and I resent that statement, I'm not a brat. I'm more like the hero because I'm going to figure out how to get us out of this cave."

"For the last time, this is not a cave. It's an elevator."

"If that makes you sleep better at night, you can call it whatever you like . . . but it's still a cave, you humans are just crazy I tell you."

"Wolfram, you're really too much you know . . . Hey what are you doing? . . . Stop that! Stop jumping! You're just going to hurt yourself and probably me in the process of doing that!"

"Shut up wimp."

". . ."

". . ."

"Ahhhhhh."

"Ahhhh, Wolfram, get off! Get off of me."

"Shut up."

"Aren't you going to get off of me yet?"

"No, if I want to stay here, I can do whatever I like!"

". . ."

"Yuuri, can you move Morgif? It's a bit uncomfortable."

"Gah! Why me? You better not fall asleep on me!"

"Stop muttering wimp. Sleep sounds good . . . I think I'll sleep until Weller-kyo finds us."

". . ."

"Yuuri stop moving Morgif like that! I'm trying to sleep."

"I give up."

"See, I'm always right wimp."

"Wolfram, just go to bed . . . I'll wake you up when someone finds us."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou. KKM is property of its respective American and Japanese owners and distributors. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Prompt: #02 - **Drunken Confessions  
**Characters:**Murata Ken and Yuuri Shibuya, mentions YuuRam**  
Warning: **Suggestive language. Foul language, kinda :P . . . Mentions something that happened in prompt #01.

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"I hate him . . . I hate him . . . hic."

"Shibuya, I think you've had enough to drink."

"I don't care, Wolfram is just sooooo annoying."

"You really are stupid Shibuya."

"Eh? Who's Shibuya?"

"Obviously, you're quite mental too. I should just leave you here."

"Who are you by the way?"

"You're such a sad drunk. Who the hell do you think I am?"

"Well, looking at your frown you kinda, hic, look like Gwendal. But he's taller than you. Up close you're not very pretty, so you can't be Wolfram . . . and you're pretty scrawny, so you can't be Conrad . . . I dunno."

"Why do I even bother?"

"Anyways, I don't care who you are, as long as you're not Wolfram."

"Yes, please do go on with your '_woe is me'_ dialogue. I've only heard it about a hundred times during your drunken state."

"'kay . . . I don't understand Wolfram. He's just so infuriating; he's driving me crazy . . . hic."

"Shibuya, you really are slow at sarcasm aren't you?"

"I just want Wolfram to leave me alone and the stupid blond won't! I want him and his pretty legs out of my bed!"

"Pretty?" '_Well, this was new, maybe Shibuya would finally say what was really bothering him and let me have some peace.'_

"Pretty? Who's pretty? Wolfram? Yeah, he's pretty mental I tell you."

". . ." '_I wonder if I strangle him . . . no, I really shouldn't.'_

"Stupid Wolfram and his scrawny bum . . . he thought Morgif was rubbing against him that time!"

"What?" '_Morgif?'_

"I'm perfectly, hic, heter . . . ooo . . . sexual, but since that time in the elevator, hic, these stupid images keep coming to me in my dreams! ARGH, I hate him!"

"So let me get this straight? You've been moaning for the past two hours because you've been perving off of your fiancé in your dreams?"

"That's right, I am straight . . ."

"I swear my brain cells are dying just talking to you Shibuya. Did you listen to anything I've just said?"

"Stupid Wolfram, he doesn't understand that I don't like guys, so he should just keep his pale shoulders away from me."

". . ."

"And then at night he keeps shifting around making me uncomfortable. Then sometimes his nightgown crinkles up to his milky thighs . . . argh, do you see what I mean? This is all Wolfram's fault."

"Yeah, I see perfectly Shibuya."

"Good! So if you see Wolfram next time, tell him that I hate him and that I don't want to lift up his nightgown and have my wicked way with him, 'kay?"

"Whatever you say Shibuya, I understand you perfectly now."

". . ."

"Argh, stop drooling." '_Finally, you fell asleep. Now to hull your scrawny ass back to your equally stupid fiancé . . .'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou. KKM is property of its respective American and Japanese owners and distributors. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Prompt: #03 – **_Gossip Column_ (Write a conversation about a gossip gone awry.)  
**Characters: **The three maids, Gwendal and implied YuuRam**  
Warning: **Suggestive language. Foul language. Mentions something that happened in prompt #02.  
**Word Count:** 484

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"Did you hear?"

"What?"

"I don't know if I should tell you . . ."

"Hey, tell us!"

"No, maybe I shouldn't."

"How bad can it be? Just say it."

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"Are you crying?"

"What's wrong? You can tell us."

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"Well, this morning I ran into Thames, you know Wolfram-sama's first-in-command and he was in tears."

"And?"

"Why was he crying?"

"Well, I thought he got reprimanded by Wolfram-sama but that wasn't why – you know how he gets about Wolfram-sama. Anyways, Thames ran into Derek, you know one of the nightly guards, who ran into Brian, another guard who was doing his nightly round yesterday and you won't believe what he saw!"

"What?"

"What?"

"Well, Yuuri-heika was drunk and the Great Sage asked him to help him into the room."

". . ."

". . ."

"He helped and you're not going to believe this, as he and the Great Sage were leaving . . . Brian looked back and saw Yuuri-heika stripping Wolfram-sama."

"No!"

"No way!"

"Yes! Then an hour later, he walked by the royal bathtub and the lights were on and he thought no one was there, so he was going to turn it off . . . that was until he saw Wolfram-sama and Yuuri-heika."

"No, don't tell me anymore."

". . ."

"And then he told Derek, who told Thames that Wolfram-sama was screaming in pain while Yuuri-heika made some weird animal noises. He also thought he heard a lot of splashing noises, so it could only mean, you know."

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"No! Yuuri-heika, how could you?"

"Wolfram-sama, I thought you had more resistance."

"Yeah, that's how I feel . . ."

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"You girls, what are you doing there? Get back to work."

"We're sorry Gwendal-sama . . . do you think Gwendal-sama heard too?"

"I'm sure he'll hear it soon enough that Wolfram-sama got deflowered."

"There, there, we have to stop being so emotional over this . . ."

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"Wolfram?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is everyone in the castle looking at us weird?"

"How should I know?"

"Well, it's just kinda weird."

"You wimp, it's probably because one of the guards helped you into the room last night and he must have told the others. I still can't believe you threw up on me!"

"What? I did not!"

"Yeah you did and then I had to hull your wimpy ass to the bath and you just wouldn't stay still when I washed us. I swear Greta's more mature than you."

". . . Did I do anything else?"

"Well you did think I was food and starting attacking me, which I did not appreciate, thank you very much. I'm still sore."

"Oh?"

"Then you starting dancing on me and I was about to kill you when you started your atrocious singing."

"Gah! Someone kill me."

". . ."

". . ."

"Yuuri? Yuuri, where the hell are you running away to? Stupid wimp . . ."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou.

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**Prompt: #04** – Valentine's Day  
**Characters**: Murata, Yuuri, Wolfram, implied YuuRam and Murata/Shinou.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for anime may be present. Suggestive language and foul language. Murata may be grossly out of character :P  
**Word count:** 499

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"Shibuya, what did you buy?"

"Buy?"

". . ."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's Valentine's Day, so I thought you would have picked out something for Wolfram."

"Shin Makoku doesn't even celebrate Valentine's. And why in the world would I want to give Wolfram something? Only girls do that, or lovers!"

". . ."

"Anyways, stop bothering me Murata."

"Shibuya, I really wonder about you sometimes."

"Leave me alone . . . It's a stupid holiday that's only celebrated by stupid squealing girls."

". . ."

". . ."

"Ahhhhhhh! Let me goooooo."

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"Shibuya, why do you always get us into these kinds of situations?"

"Don't blame me! It's your fault for reminding me what this dumb day was anyways, and our female classmates are mental."

"You just insulted the entire female population; an overly hormonal and distraught bunch this time around. Really Shibuya, you never cease to amaze me."

". . ."

"Stop glaring, you know I'm right. Anyways, get ready we're going back to Shin Makoku."

"What? Why?"

"Because I need to give my sexy gift to a certain blond for Valentine's Day and you know, tomorrow would be too late and would lose its meaning."

"Eh?"

"Yes, it leaves little to the imagination and I can't wait until he wears it. It's a pretty transparent thing and took me forever to find."

"What?"

". . ."

". . ."_'I don't care! Murata can do whatever he wants, it's not like Wolfram wanted a gift anyways for Valentine's and why the hell is Murata giving my fiancé a gift!' _

"Stop grumbling Shibuya." _'Idiot.'_

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"Sir Bielefeld, what a coincidence running into you!"

"Huh?" _'Why is the Great Sage smiling like that?' _

"Here, try this on for me."

". . ." _'I wonder if I can burn the Great Sage into a crisp . . . maybe I could kill him and then hide his body?' _

"Er, you look kind of murderous . . . I just need to see if the size would fit, I'm giving it as a present for Valentine's . . ."

"Valentine's?"

". . ."

"Ahhhhh, where are you touching me?"

". . ."

". . ."

". . ." _'That's right Shibuya; pretend like you're not spying on us, I do see you. I'll make it up to you later though, after all this Valentine's gift is for Shinou. Although Shinou's still in the box but who cares about details . . .' _

"Let me goooooo."

"Don't worry, we're almost done."

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"Here."

"Wolfram, what's that?"

"Happy Valentine's Day." _'Stupid earth holiday . . .'_

". . ."

"What? Don't look at me, the Great Sage told me to give it to you or he was going to demonstrate on me."

". . ."

"Yuuri . . . why is this called _'Valentine's edible body chocolate for all of the hard to reach places for that special someone?' . . ._"

"MURATA, I'm going to kill you!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou.

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**Prompt: #14** – Fairytales  
**Characters**: Yuuri/Wolfram and Murata  
**Warnings:** Foul language. There may be out of character characteristics  
**Word count:** 451

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"Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a princess who was entrapped in a castle for all of its occupants were put in a deep sleep."

"Murata, will you please shut up? You're really starting to annoy me."

"Too bad the prince isn't me and I'm stuck being his baby-sitter instead."

"I didn't want you to come with me anyways."

". . ."

"But it was you or Shori – I think I picked the lesser of two evils."

". . ."

"Ow, why'd you hit me?"

"Anyways, hurry up; it looks like the hedges are moving." _'Idiot.'_

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"Geez, how big is this castle? It's like a maze."

"No bigger than yours, your highness."

". . ."

". . ."

"You know, I'm not quite sure if you're insulting me again Murata."

". . ." _'Well, the world may never know.'_

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"The princess is a he?"

". . ."

"I didn't sign up to save a boy, why didn't you tell me? I'm going back to my castle!"

"Shibuya, you're an idiot. You're the one who got all excited when you heard about the sleeping princess and eventually because of you, I was dragged here to protect you . . . So here, let me help you out." _'A little push, no harm done really.'_

"What do you meannnnnnn? Ahhhhhh."

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"Ahh, you pervert, what are you doing on top of me? Get off me this instant!"

"Hey you ungrateful brat, I just saved you from eternal sleep and everything. A little appreciation might be the better response."

"Brat? Did you just call me a brat? And it was by your kiss that I woke up? I think I'd rather choose eternal sleep."

". . ."

"Shibuya apologize."

"What? No way!"

"I don't need an apology, just get out of my sight you good for nothing wimp and call my treasurer, I want a refund from you for stealing my kiss. It wasn't even that great. Good night!"

". . ."

". . ."

"Well, Shibuya it looks like you've met your perfect match. Congrats!" _'Hmm, should I be concerned though? Well, I guess if Shibuya starts to turn blue from lack of air.'_

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"Oh and if anyone was curious . . . Wolfram von Bielefeld and Yuuri Shibuya lived happily ever after."

"Shut up Murata – this is your entire fault."

"Yeah, stupid Great Sage and I am not wearing a dress Yuuri."

"Well, I'm not either!"

". . ."

"Glare all you want, you're not getting your way."

"Hmph, we'll see about that . . . stupid wimp."

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"Well, I guess not so happily ever after . . ."

"MURATA!"

"Yes, yes I heard you Shibuya. The end."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kyou Kara Maou.

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**Prompt:** #18 – Open Prompt Week(s). Write whatever inspires you.  
**Characters:** Yuuri and Murata, implied YuuRam/WolfYuu  
**Warnings:** Suggestive language and situations. There may be out of character characteristics. (Murata is awesome XD and I have taken liberties with his character.)

**Word Count:** 445

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**SPOILERS** from one of the bonus mini novel(s) that will come out with the KKM PS2 Game. Please do not read further if you do not want to be spoiled for the mini-novel.

Inspired by the recent information available at the wolfram lj community: http / community . livejournal. com / kkm(underscore symbol)wolframfans /59667. html (spaces intentional) regarding the 'marriage' of Wolfram and Yuuri in one of the PS2 RPG game bonus novel(s).

Note(s): I don't know if Shin Makoku's traditions have married couples go on honeymoons, so Wolfram and Yuuri are still at the castle after their wedding.

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"Shibuya, what are you doing behind that curtain?"

"Keep your voice down Murata."

"Why? I don't really think . . . never mind, I don't know where to start with you anyways and I'd rather not suffer a headache in trying to reason with you. But you do know that your spouse will eventually find you."

". . ."

"You know, your glare does nothing for me, really."

"Argh. Murata, you traitor!"

"Nor does your pout make me empathetic to your plight."

"You know Murata, I thought we were friends – you should have at least stopped me in my moment of insanity."

"Says the man who wore the dress yesterday . . ."

"Murata, you're a horrible friend and . . . and . . . ARGH, I just don't understand how this happened to me?"

"There, there Shibuya. It can't be that bad and I'm sure being married to Wolfram will . . . well, it'll definitely amuse me, erm, I mean that it can't be that bad."

"Hmph, you weren't there last night! You can't understand."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, Wolfram was trying to kill me . . ."

"That's highly improbable and not after the sounds I heard last night."

"What?"

"After all, you guys are married – finally." _'And if you guys didn't marry any time soon, I would have probably killed the both of you – really, you and Wolfram are idiots.'_

"Will you stop mentioning that? And don't mutter 'finally' under your breath."

". . ."

"Are you laughing at me Murata? It's not funny, do you understand?"

"There, there Shibuya."

"And will you stop saying that, it's really annoying Murata."

"Well, I'll be on my way then."

"No, don't leave. I mean . . ."

"Oh and Shibuya, make sure to close the doors tonight. I didn't know that you could be so vocal. Or maybe that was Wolfram. Either way, I'm quite sure that I don't want to know all the little details. Although, it does highly amuse me at times . . ."

"MURATA!"

". . ."

"Gah! Someone kill me."

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"Yuu . . ."

"Ah, Sir Bielefeld . . . hmm, or should I call you Sir Bielefeld-Shibuya? Anyways, here, he's all yours."

"Wolf . . ."

"Yuu . . ."

". . ." '_Idiots, now that they found each other, they don't know what to say . . . here, let me give you a hand Shibuya.'_

"Murata, why are you pushing meeee . . . ahhhhhhhhh."

"Well, I'll be going now." _'Hmm, should I be concerned though? It doesn't seem very comfortable for them in that kind of position – well, I'm sure they'll figure something out.'_


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